(coutesy http://justmommies.com)
If you’re a fan of my poetry (remember my fertility poetry: – I just haven’t met you yet, I’m over it, Happiness), I now have a baby version based on my go to solution for baby cries when all else is exhausted. Obviously if he dropped his toy – pick it up, if he’s cold – put a blanket, etc, but there are many times when you don’t know what is wrong. In this case, you can just “put a boob on it”. Yip, the eternal comforter. Bottler feeding moms can put a bottle on it, although I haven’t had the same experience as to its effectiveness. There are times I fall asleep with him on my boob and wake up with a cold one. Nice, hey. If it’s any comfort, this too shall pass, and I’ll get my boobs back. In the meantime, they work really well calming him down.
Here is the poem, to the tune of Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies”:
| All the baby mommies (all the baby mommies) All the baby mommies (all the baby mommies) All the baby mommies, now put your hands upUp all night (night) We just went to sleep (sleep) I’m finally getting some restYou decided to cry (cry) And now I wanna die (die) Cause all I wanna do is sleep I’m looking at him (him) ‘Cause he’ll cry his tears (tears) Cause if he cries then you should put a boob on it Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Scared of noise? Then you should put a boob on it He’ll go right to sleep with a boob in it When in doubt just put a boob in it. I got nothing on my lips (lips) Dropped his cube (cube) I need no permission Cause he needs his milk (milk) Hits his head? Then you should put a boob in it. Don’t be mad when you feel like a cow Before you know it, it will be over now Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Scared of noise? Then you should put a boob on it He’ll go right to sleep with a boob in it When in doubt just put a boob in it. Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Don’t even try to give me toys or sing a song All the baby mommies (all the baby mommies) Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh |
** As if to prove a point, I had just hit publish when Nicky started crying. And no amount of boob would help. I think the universe is trying to keep me humble. I think what does count is to keep trying different options, knowing eventually something will work. And I think I should give that baby sign language book another look.
Absolutely hilarious! I am just dying!
thanks! Although in your case it would be put a bottle in it…
Love, love, love this – It so reminds me of when my youngest was that age!