Hi folks. I know you haven’t heard from me in more than a month. A couple of events have conspired to disrupt things!
First of all my Wizard autoresponder, which so wonderfully collected new subscriptions and delivered messages so wonderfully has been hacked. You can read more about it here: http://www.randolfsmith.com/
Well, that meant that I basically lost all my subscribers, my web forms did not work, various links that used Wizard were no longer working. To get all that back in place and find the original links for everything was a huge mission. But it is finally done now, and my new autoresponder is called Imnica Mail. When Nancy has a moment she’ll put in the new subscriber box on the right.
In the meantime I have added the people on my fertility list to my gmail (until Imnica answers my support ticket and you guys get personalized mail again) so we can keep in touch.
The kids in my class are busy writing tests so things are only going to get more busy, because once this week is done I start with reports and also preparing for concert.
The big news that I have to share.. let me take a deep breath…
Well in July, at the same time when I was undergoing that IUI, my newly acquired maid’s 14 year old daughter gave birth to a boy. Yes, you read that right. 14 years old. (By the way she is a wonderful maid – she works for us Tuesdays and Thursdays and it has really made a huge difference in my life. No more Sunday laundry and ironing).
Well it was a tough thing to deal with at the same time as a failed IUI procedure, but as much as I was thinking, “Why can’t I do that?” I wished her the best as a new mother with her baby.
Fast forward four months later. I got the shock of my life yesterday while I was driving my maid home (she lives in the next suburb over during the week, working for my friend on the other days) and I asked her “How’s your family doing?”. Well, little did I know that she would open up and tell me that her daughter wants to give me her baby!!!!
Oh my gosh…
Well I tried to just chat to her and say Brett and I had joked about it, but it is one thing to joke about, and another to take it seriously. But I did say I still wanted to meet the baby, maybe in my December holidays. Also asked about her plans for next year – the daughter will go back to school and the baby will go to a crèche.
I carried on driving on to Brett’s work and told him about this. Of course, the first thing he did was to crack jokes with his mother (We have a Zodwa!). His concern was about the boundaries involved.
But I have more concerns. The kid is black. This is South Africa. Taking a kid away from his culture, his language and bringing him up “white” is something that needs serious considerations. Furthermore this isn’t a new born. The kid is already 4 months along, and taking him away from mom at this stage.. I don’t know..
But wow. What a compliment. This isn’t something that can be decided overnight, but I would appreciate your prayers.
Wow! Crossing the boundary – maybe.
Sorry about the hacking. Crazy people everywhere.
Thanks Victoria…. I am still undecided … told maid this morning we need time to think…
wow! I will definitely pray for y’all but as far as the baby being 4 mos old, children are resilient and amazingly adaptable. I worked in the US foster care system for 7 yrs and children much older than that get adopted and do very well 🙂
thanks for your comment on my blog! 🙂
wow, what a decision to make. i can’t imagine. wishing you the best. listen to your gut.
thanks Becca, will definitely keep that in mind.
Thank you p! that’s good advice 🙂
Think of the child, the implications for the child. How can they bear children and find the solution is to pass it on. The child’s place is with its mother. They have to find the love, place and upbringing inside themselves and within the family, however difficult. Children are not cuckoo birds. There is the mother and the grandma. They have to cope between them. They have to till their own field.
Thanks, Marie.
Hi, I found you through the Lost and Found site. First…wow! I know it’s alot to take in right now & it’s alot to think about. I would like to give you a bit of my own insight, if it helps.
I am a single mother to a beautiful bi-racial baby girl. When I was pregnant, I used to worry about her “black” culture and how I would be able to expose her to that part of herself, especially since her father has zero contact with her. But I am finding now, as she gets older, I don’t really worry about things like that anymore. I am discovering that our world is a much more tolerant one than when I was a kid growing up & that her family heritage is and will be my own to pass down to her. From my family and those who love her.
When I look at my daughter, it is very difficult for me to see her as a “race” or anything other than my beautiful daughter. Those kinds of things seem to melt away and you simply see your baby as any mother sees her child: through the lense of love.
I also have a 22 year old son (fully white), and I have to say that kids just go through things. Adults go through things. We all struggle in our youth to find our way, find our own identity, deal with the many issues that life hands us. For some it may be dealing with sexual orientation. For others it may be dealing with the parent’s choice of religion (as was in my case growing up), and for some it may be a handicap, or being too short, too tall, overweight, etc., etc.
So, without rambling on too much more…I just wanted to let you know that even though race can play a role in a child’s life, a nurturing, loving, happy home plays a much bigger one. Just something to think about…
Wishing you all the best!