Half the fun of getting to where you want to be should be in appreciating how you got there. I know that my specific challenge is to appreciate the present rather than being too focused on the past or the future. Even with infertility, being grateful for the time we had as a couple, rather than what was missing (the baby), was when we achieved a happier peace.
The parallel I am trying to draw here is that many people get caught up in baby milestones without looking at the steps taken to get there. I clearly remember how Nicky would slide around on his tummy before crawling on all fours and definitely did both for a while before padding around confidently as he does now.
A lot of people are asking, “Is he walking yet? ” and the answer is no. But if you look carefully you will see so many movements that show all the preparation building up to that final step.
Unpacking shelves.
-Nicky is pulling up to stand a lot. Previously he would sit and unpack shelves, now he stands and goes for higher places.
-He can hold on with one hand. This applies to anything he is holding onto, including moving objects like his scooter.
-Another bath evolution: from lying on his back, to front, to sitting, and now – he just wants to stand! Holding onto me, of course, but he did not want to sit for quite a while.
-Standing! The first time was on the bed and then one day he squatted and then lifted himself up and then down again. So, it’s only been for a few seconds, but its definitely standing by himself.
-After showing him how for weeks, he is now able to get off the bed by himself.
– He likes to put his bum in the air all the time. His legs are getting stronger. I see him making that movement all the time.
– He can kind of walk with a little bit of support and guidance. It was so precious to watch my DH practicing with Nicky, holding with one hand and using a toy stick.
Appreciating the process and not just the end product of something is much like valuing a butterfly that must first start off as a caterpillar, build a cocoon, and then go through a transformative process.
So what about you? Did you ever have a journey you appreciated as much as the destination?
Great post! Everyone is always trying to rush things along but there is much joy in getting there.
Once they walk, they don’t crawl! Also useful when they potty train–once they do it, they don’t go back! Way to stay in the moment and savor it.
I miss those days. The days when the children relied on me for everything. The only thing they messed up was their nappy or their shirts. Now they are into everything all the time. Sigh!
I am trying to enjoy the journey… I am always so focused on the next I miss out on the now.
Great reminder! I need to slow down and enjoy the process instead of trying to get to the end result!
Hi! I am part of the commentathon–and I do really appreciate this post. I posted a comment back in August. Is Nicky walking yet as a couple of weeks have passed? Treasure these moments! They go by so fast!
Nope, still not!
I love the baby journey and always hated the pressure I felt when my boys weren’t walking at 10 months or a year. My son took his first steps at 14 months and as we did encourage him, we never pressured him. He also was classified as delayed speech because he only had 10 words by his second birthday. But at 31 months now says complete sentences.
That’s great Michelle, you obviously have a lot of patience with him. Every kid matures at their own pace.
This is a lovely post Heather! I do sometimes get too focused on the destination but I am loving this time with my girls.
“Even with infertility, being grateful for the time we had as a couple, rather than what was missing (the baby), was when we achieved a happier peace.”
This. I need to remember this all the time.
I think it is so fun to watch how they piece all the little steps together into finally reaching their milestones – and it sounds like he will be walking any day now!
For me it has been easier to take it easy and enjoy the moment with our second (third) child. I hated our infertility journey, but respect it now for how it changed me and my perspective.
I agree 100% too often people are rushing the milestones. It is as if it has become this huge competition. It is great to see them meet these milestones but every time they do it moves them a little further away from being a baby and that is so sad in a way. It is so much fun when they first learn to crawl and then watching them work their way up to walking. I still watch those video clips over and over. It is such a special time.
Thank you for making me be more present today 🙂
“Did you ever have a journey you appreciated as much as the destination?”
I think while writing my book, I was aware of both the journey and the destination. I really enjoyed that journey — it was a magical time and I did not wish it away.
Adorable boy!
I think you’re pretty good at living in the moment, with your perfect moment Monday and all… I certainly can learn from you.
I love your first line: “Half the fun of getting to where you want to be should be in appreciating how you got there.” It is funny how most often we don’t remember the process fondly until it is done…I really don’t want to be like that as a mom, though…I love this encouragement to enjoy the journey, great way to start the day- Thank you!
We must all remember to slow down and enjoy the journey on the way to our destination. Thanks for the reminder.
I loved watching my sons learn. My oldest has struggled with clear speech, not enough to get treatment, but enough that others notice. For me though I see how much he focuses on learning puzzles – at 3 he could put together 48 piece puzzles with no help – how into drawing maps and pictures he is – and how determined he is to learn to hit a baseball on his own. Sure his speech might not be right at this age level, but he does speak well enough to have great conversations about what interests him and I see no reason to rush as he is clearly more interested in perfecting other skills first.
Marissa
Marissa, sounds like you are really enjoying the time with your son. Thanks for the inspiration.
Great reminder. Good for you figuring this out so early on as a mommy. My husband and I finally really “got” this when we arrived at Baby #7. I have to say that we have enjoyed Baby #7 and #8 because we realize how short each stage is. We’ve just sat back and enjoyed them where they’re at, encouraging them to move ahead at their own speed.
Wow, I take my hat off to you. 8 kids! I wish I had your fertility!
Amen!!! As the mother of a 17 year old daughter with moderate cerebral palsy, I have learned to appreciate the micro-steps along the way of development. I still get so excited by the smallest of accomplishments. Good for you for paying attention and encouraging others to do the same!
I think you of all people probably appreciate being in the moment the most. I liked your post about how everything needs to slow down.
Oh, I remember many a roadtrip that I appreciated the journey as much as the destination!
As for kids, it’s best not compare yours to the Jones’ anyway. It’s good to like the baby steps along the way. You are right about that.
Both our kids are grown now, and I regret not savoring those moments as you are doing.
So true. I think patience is probably one of the hardest things in life and yet when one learns it, it has such great power to teach us and help us in life. Thanks for the great reminders. Wonderful post.
First off, your son is adorable! I think all of my educational experiences have been those that I enjoyed the “journey” more than the “destination”! I love learning new things and school has always been something I’ve been optimistic about! I was kind of sad to graduate!
It’s this way with travel for me. I think I like the planning as much as the trip. Friends have laughed at how much research I do before a trip, but I like learning about the area where I am going. It makes the eventual trip so much sweeter.
You sound like a good road trip companion! I bet trips with you would be educational!
My ‘baby’ is 13 years old and the memory of his first steps, first words and some of our first conversations are always with me. If a mother is feeling harried today, may she read your words and savor the moments.
I think this is an excellent post and can be used in everyday life, let along for baby milestones. It’s not just about the end result, but the end journey. One needs to slow up a little and look around to enjoy things a little bit more and obviously you are doing it, which is awesome. Though I don’t have kids, I enjoyed this post as it really can hit home. Nicely done.
my third was almost a year when he crawled (the right way. he scooted around in a sitting position before that) and didn’t walk for what seemed like forever (he walked upright but on his knees for months) and I think I would have gone crazy if he was my first. But since I knew he was my last, I didn’t feel rushed at all. We got the questions too and I’d just giggle and say ‘not yet’ I cherished it.
Thanks, that’s just the right attitude!
It is so exciting to watch our children grow, reaching those milestones, learning new things.
Thank you for the reminder to slow down and enjoy the baby steps in between. There is much joy in the journey, if we aren’t careful we miss out on a lot of that joy because we are always looking ahead or comparing to ourselves and our children to others.
p.s. Your little guy is adorable!
My journey through college was as good as the destination. I went back to college at 31, and loved it. Now, I am a teacher, and i would say that both were equally rewarding.
It’s true…there are so many milestones, but when we focus too much on the next one, we miss a lot of great stuff on the way. Not sure if this applies to my current battle of potty training my 5th (!) but I am enjoying all the funny things he says and his unique approach to trying new things. =) Thanks for sharing!
aah cute, I’m sure the journey of potty training is just like anything else – a process of discovery. Good luck!
What an adorable little guy! Enjoy every minute of him! Before you know it he will be in 6th grade. Thank’s for the reminder to enjoy each day. It is so easy to forget to do that in today’s fast paced world.
These moments will never last long enough. You really are smart by keeping the grace up. Pretty soon they are gasp! in high school!!
Nothing is coming to mind at the moment…but I sure was reminded of the gift our baby boy was (when he FINALLY got here) and all the fun of watching him traverse the floor, learn to sit up and all the fun he had playing. So glad for you!
:)Wren
Love this. So much of my marriage and parenting journey has been much more difficult than I ever imagined. I think it has humbled me, made me really learn to appreciate life differently. I just have a respect for the journey. I wish everyone could experience a life lesson to grasp that humbleness. The world would be a much nicer place.
Perfect post – I agree, we wish kids to grow up quickly, without taking time to enjoy the journey.
Now I look back on the time when my kids were toddlers and wished I hadn’t been in such a hurry for them to grow up. For my children that are now parents, I tell them to slow down and enjoy the ride. This is a time of their lives that they will never get back again.
I think life itself is a journey and not a destination (as the Aerosmith song says!). There is also more to do and learn, etc. Once you hit one “milestone” in life, there are many more to follow.
I was lucky that the child health nurse that I went to when my oldest was born told me to throw away the books and observe my child. As long as they are continually developing, they’ll be fine and are just going at their own pace.
I like sewing, but sometimes I’m so focused on getting something done that I forget to enjoy the process of sewing. I do have to remind myself to enjoy the process.
You’re lucky you had such a wise nurse! I agree, observation is key.
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in comparing our little ones to others their age, we forget how unique and different each of them can be. Sometimes we have to stop and remember to live in the moment and appreciate how far they have come, with whatever that may be. Wonderful post!
I love this! Now that my twin boys are six (and we had an infertility journey too), I find myself amazed at how quickly time has flown. I regret focusing on the milestones rather than all of the amazing steps it took to reach each one. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Oh, I love this! Yes, we are so often rushing to get to the next way station in life without appreciating the journey in between. Life needs to be lived at a slower pace with greater appreciation for the here and now, rather than looking forward or backward. Thanks for reminding me to do this more in my own life! ~ Bobbi
My first was one of those kids that just didn’t do anything by the book. Just be happy with having him and laugh when he laughs…the rest will come in time!
I, too, struggled with infertility. Now I have a beautiful baby boy. I can relate to your post! Taking the time to enjoy the journey and what we have right in front of us can be so difficult! I find myself now worrying about trying to have the second baby instead of living in the moment. Great reminder to do just that!
You are not alone, I have the same worries. But I try and focus on Nicholas instead 🙂
so glad I’m not alone in this, thanks for your comment, Kelly!
Your post is a reminder to savor the moment. We live in a microwave age where we want everything NOW, and often forget that there is a process to get to the destination and often this process takes time.
Your baby’s gradual progression can definitely be applied to other situations in life. It takes time to get where we want to. Enjoy the journey.
I agree…our society has become we want it now instead of just taking our time and enjoying the ride. When we rush things we miss the important small things which sometimes outweighs the bigger things.
Kimberly Ann Hawes
Hi Heather. I have come to a point in my life that I realize it is almost always about the journey and not the destination. We put much less pressure and stress on ourselves if we focus on the journey.
When focused on the destination (not to be confused with having goals), we are much likely to be hard on ourselves and not enjoy the journey. We also then tend to live in a ‘when’ world. ‘When I accomplish this I will be happy’ mentality severely limits our opportunity for joy along the way.
Thanks for sharing this story about your son. He sounds like he is progressing nicely, and you are both having joy along the way.
Thanks for your comment, I really think you hit the nail on the head. The idea that some goal will make us happy will just drive us more insane. Thanks for putting it so well.
Thank you for this. My little one is at the stage where he is learning something new every day. They aren’t all “big milestones” like walking, but little things like forming a new sound, attempting a new sign word, or discovering a new way to play with a toy. Those little things are all big steps for him and I try to recognize and give thanks for every single one.
Good point! Life is always like that. At your wedding you get asked if you are going to have kids, have one kid and you get asked if you are going to have another. I’m guilty of it too but why not just enjoy where we are at the moment.
You definitely have to enjoy the moments. Don’t let people feel you need to rush things. It goes so fast anyway, just enjoy the moments that you have right now! 🙂
Wonderful post. Enjoy each moment, as they grow up so fast!
Very true! I found I got caught up with the milestones with my first one but I am remembering more this time around to just enjoy where they are at. It helps too on days that are rough with my toddler to remember it is a journey. Today might be rough but then tomorrow will probably be smoother sailing so just get through today!
With my first two daughters, I didn’t pay enough attention to the process of growing, just the milestones. With my third and fourth though, I’ve enjoyed their baby years much more, and have noticed a lot more “little things”.
Great post! I realize I need to appreciate the journey that brought me to where I am today. Thank you for that reminder! 🙂
As a mom of two, when my girls were still babies, I remember feeling sort of sad when they would reach a milestone! I mean, I was happy and proud when they walked, but there’s also a sense of sadness that they’re moving to a new phase and won’t ever be that little baby anymore. I like that you are noticing and enjoying each small milestone! 🙂
Thanks Kirsten, that’s true. My little boy is really becoming so much less of a baby now and it’s hard to let go of all the baby stuff.
Life is really about the journey and not the destination. But admist our busy lifestyles we often forget that. Thanks for the reminder.
Great reminder to slow down and enjoy today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Thanks for sharing!
Your question at the bottom reminds me of the quote, life is a journey not a destination…It’s important to take time to enjoy the moments not just the end results. Thanks for this reminder today!
I think I can liken this to weight loss. There are so many steps and milestones along the way, and the process of changing habits and learning to exercise is definitely one that I have appreciated.
Us American’s are SO bad at that. Rushing through everything and not enjoying the little things. I myself am guilty at aways looking ahead at the big picture and not enjoying the journey it takes to get there. We only live one life and we need to make the most of it. We need to enjoy every day, enjoy the little things, and find happiness in the journey!
craftingafairytale.blogspot.com
This is a really great post and very inspirational. I often feel as though I rush through things and then end up regretting it. I find myself looking back and wishing I had taken it slow, but unfortunately, you can’t go back. It’s a good thing to take things slow, but we don’t always remember to do that.