17 November is World Prematurity Day.
What better way to commemorate this day than to share a story of a mom who dealt with this situation, and hear what she says if you find yourself in a similar predicament.
Here is Catherine’s story:
Our little boy Kai was born on Saturday, 16 Nov, 1.8kg, 2 months premature, and rather a shock to us both! It was quite a dramatic entrance: I had already had pre-term labour at 28 weeks, which the doctors halted with medication, and I made a decision to stop work completely. All seemed to be fine with no sign of trouble for about 4 weeks. Then spontaneously, as I arrived at Hartebeespoort for a spa day with my girlfriends, my waters broke! A good friend, forgoing her pedicure, drove me the 1 1/2 hour trip back to Jhb, straight to the hospital (accompanied by strong contractions every five minutes en-route – ow!). As I arrived I was checked and sent straight to theatre for a Caesarian Section for footling breech. Thankfully my husband made it on time to see the birth of our firstborn son!Little Kai spent 7 weeks in the fantastic neonatal unit, with drips, monitors, oxygen, under the UV lights for a few days, intravenous feeding, nasal-tube feeding, a scary infection that affected his bowel (but he did not require surgery, thank the Lord!) and eventually a transition to bottle-feeding.That time while he was in hospital was a really tough one for us – full of emotional ups and downs, me having to adjust to expressing breast milk for him (un-fun, not for the faint-hearted, sleep-depriving, annoying leaky boobs!!), moments of incredible close my-heart-is-full love as we did what limited kangaroo mother (and father!) care we could, milestones reached as we watched him become stronger and stronger, first sucking the bottle for 5 minutes before retiring, exhausted, to being able to finish a full bottle on his own…!Eventually, on the 7th of January, we were allowed to take him home! Praise the Lord!
As we celebrated his first birthday yesterday, we remembered the tough start he had to life, and how grateful we are to all our friends and family for lifting little Kai up to our Lord in prayer. We truly believe it was God’s divine intervention that saved him from having to have surgery when his bowel took a turn for the worse.
Here is something she wrote to encourage others who have to go through this:
Dear Mommy of a preemie baby
You are about to go through a really rough time: your baby has come early, and he/she is now in ICU under the care of the nurses and paediatricians. He is getting the best care possible, you know that, but you want him home – you miss him, and things feel unfair, you feel unlucky. You have to spend separate time expressing milk and bonding with your baby, while normal moms of full-term babies would use their breastfeeding time as bonding time. You, on the other hand, have to schedule in MORE time and do these activities separately – expressing milk, and also going into the NICU to spend time with your baby. Never mind the time you have to set aside to travel back and forth between hospital and home.
Get a good breast pump, start early with it, and pump every three hours. 15-30 minutes each time should be sufficient. Your newborn night not be up to full feeds now, but when he is, you need to be ahead of his game by almost a full 24 hours – the reason being that at 11am the Milk Kitchen staff will prepare his feeds for the next 24 hours. It is much easier, and less strain on you and your partner, to do this than bring milk in for each feed, as your baby needs it. I found myself in the position of the latter, stressed, exhausted and demoralized.
If you’re having trouble with pumping, phone a lactation consultant. You might have to hire a hospital grade breast pump. Contact the Medela Agent (0117889172) for a good quality one.
Other tips to help you get better milk flow include using a double pump, massaging your breasts before pumping (massage out the lumps), use a hot microwave bean bag or hot water bottle on your breasts to get good milk flow, and drink a glass of water before and after pumping.
Expressing is exhausting. So eat well, and get as much sleep as you can in between expressing. Hopefully your partner can support you in this by washing and sterilizing the equipment for you, bringing you juice, tea or water and generally taking care of the rest of the household. Ask your extended family, some friends or your church group to provide freezer meals for you, and ask another friend to do the odd bit of grocery shopping, or to babysit your other children. You are going to be too exhausted to do any of it for yourself. Try not to take on other people’s jobs or roles, and don’t do their thinking for them. This will just stress you out even more. Each person must take responsibility for themselves and learn to think for themselves.
Don’t even think of going back to work during this time. You only have time to think of yourself and your baby. You don’t physically have the capacity to take on any more responsibility.
Don’t blame yourself. Whatever the reason, you are not responsible for your baby coming early. It just happens, and in 50% of cases they don’t know why. Thank God that our NICUs are so brilliant nowadays that we can care for tiny babies born too soon.
Don’t be scared to ask for help, or to share your heart with trusted friends. Cry if you need to. If you’re finding it all a bit too much, go and see your gynae or counsellor.
Your little miracle is loved so much by our Heavenly Father, loved more than you could ever love him, so trust in God to carry him through.
***
Here are some key facts about prematurity: (according to WHO)
Every year, an estimated 15 million babies are born preterm (before 37 completed weeks of gestation), and this number is rising.
Preterm birth complications are the leading cause of death among children under 5 years of age, responsible for nearly 1 million deaths in 2013.
Three-quarters of them could be saved with current, cost-effective interventions.
The fact is that there is help: essential care during child birth and in the postnatal period for every mother and baby, antenatal steroid injections (given to pregnant women at risk of preterm labour and meeting set criteria to strengthen the babies’ lungs), kangaroo mother care (the baby is carried by the mother with skin-to-skin contact and frequent breastfeeding) and antibiotics to treat newborn infections.
Care does cost money, however, and the Newborns Groote Schuur Trust was established by a group of concerned doctors working at the hospital, where the neonatal unit regularly operates at well over capacity with more than 3,200 newborn premature babies being admitted annually. Professor Michael Harrison, who heads the Groote Schuur Neonatal Unit, says “the Unit needs to be upgraded if we are going to improve on current outcomes for those babies who are born as early as 26 weeks gestation, and at very low birth weights.” Groote Schuur Hospital has created more space by providing adjoining space on the same floor for the unit to be expanded, but expansion and upgrading costs are estimated at approximately R26M.
So what can you do?
-Wear Purple for Preemies Day and buy a Purple for Preemies sticker for R10 from any Naartjie, KidsRUs or Hirsch store.
-Donate at: www. newborns.org.za
If you live in Cape Town you can support the Groote Schuur Hospital:
-Knit-a-thon commences from 07h00 – 14h00 in Hospital Street in the New
Main Building at Groote Schuur Hospital. Handover of knitted items to the NICU by Wayde v Niekerk – SA 400m record holder born premature.
-Purple hair-spraying at Groote Schuur Hospital 11h00-14h00 in Tafelberg meeting room, Hospital Street, New Main Building, Groote Schuur Hospital.
Share stories and support and see what fantastic prizes weare offering on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/newbornstrustSA and Twitter using the hashtag #PurpleforPreemies2014.
Great post Heather! I volunteer each week in the NICU at a local Children’s Hospital holding the babies. They are such little fighters, and I am warmed to see the tired parents who spend each day by their children’s sides.
Wow Shannon, that is incredible that you do that.
Your story sounds very much like mine. It can be very difficult to share something so personal, but it does help. Thank you for sharing your journey and including some very good advice.