I should actually subtitle this post: “I guess I’m not a tree hugger after all…”
Today we had our first session of the Baby Preparation Class.
I feel a bit emotionally exhausted.
It’s not just the avalanche of information being thrown at us, it is the very strong direction that this information is being delivered in.
Definitely PRO natural birth and ANTI hospital intervention.
Maybe I should have realized this would be the case, since the course is being run by a midwife at a Birthing Centre and her sister, who is a doula. Of course they are going to push the natural way.
Truth to be told, I agree with them. And I would have totally gone the natural route if I had had the choice.
But. The fact is, I am a high risk pregnancy. I have a scar from my laparoscopy from taking out that nasty fibroid that has a risk of rupturing if I go the natural birth route. I have high blood pressure (which has surprisingly been ok for now, thank goodness, although I am monitoring it). I am an older mother. But who cares? I might have been able to still do this whole natural birth thing without a hitch. But I am just very hesitant to risk it. It is my life and my baby’s life at stake here.
And I have fought bitterly hard to get to this place, with the help of medical intervention, I will have you know.
So actually, I realise, I am in favour of technology. Bring on the drugs and pain killers. Hook me up and cut me open. At this point I am past caring exactly how it comes out, except that it comes out healthy and ok. Other people can puff and pant for hours. Mine will be over quickly.
I’d love to be a part of this cosmic miracle that everyone says is so life changing when you give birth, but for those of us who just can’t do it, it is actually ok.
It’s like the fertility vs infertility club all over again.
Of all the people at the course we were the only ones doing a c-section. There is someone there having a home birth. Another one (at my same hospital) having a water birth. But here we sit, having to explain ourselves.
And on the whole, people understand.
I think when you speak your own story, nobody can deny you that.
The one thing I did enjoy was when they had a couple come in to share their experience. Yes, it was a home water birth. But it was a true story without an agenda. Since the hubby works in film and filmed the birth, B was interested to chat to him about it. They did show us some pictures as well. It looked like an amazing experience. I also liked their piece of advice about introducing the dogs to the baby: first let them smell the dirty nappy! (diaper)
The course itself had a lot of good information. They started off by telling us about the optimal fetal position and things we can do to help this. (I have to get out my ball again and blow it up to get moving again, instead of just sitting here at my disk!)
We then had some info on “perineal massage” which basically means massaging the part between your vagina and anus to get it nice and stretchy for the birth process. I could see B really trying to contain his laughter here.
We then went on to preparing for the intensity of birth. Lots of good advice here about being realistic about your expectations and self care. I liked what they said about PAIN is what it is but SUFFERING is when we believe our negative internal story. I guess it is a lot in the mind.
Next was all about labour. She got out a model of a pelvis and explained the optimal angles (angled backwards better than flat – creates more space for baby to come out). It was an interesting comparison that baby comes out like a corkscrew, or how you would wind your ring off, rather than just straight.
The stages of labour were gone through. I guess it will be useful to know this stuff in case baby comes too soon.
She lastly started going through different kinds of birth options.
And this is where the obvious preferences came up.
Although disadvantages of home birth were brought up (fewer options for pain relief, distance from hospital, no emergency pediatric care), boy did they tear into the hospital scene. And we haven’t even got to cesareans yet.
Oh boy we are just going to be at a disadvantage because of:
-unfamiliar medical surroundings and people (well what do you expect? And I am still going on that tour….)
-making decisions in the least conductive of circumstances (so what? Bring on the technology and the expertise, I’d rather have them..)
-invasion of privacy (again, a small price to pay for peace of mind)
-interventions (bring on the pain pills!)
-constant examinations (I’d rather be safe)
-only birth within protocols and management of the hospital and staff (well, what do you expect?)
Then all the interventions were gone through.
I won’t even bore you with them.
The point is, I have an excellent doctor. I trust him. I have heard a lot of good things about him and how he will make this experience as baby friendly as possible (including letting us have the skin to skin afterwards).
So what if this is a hospital.
It can still be a great experience.
Sigh.
I know next week’s class will be better because it will concern more of what happens afterbaby is born – stuff I am more interested in. They will go into more detail about the Cesarean and also more info on breastfeeding.
It was just a lot to process today.
And it made me decide: I think I want to do the hospital course, although even our doctor said that course would not have enough “meat”. I think I have had enough large doses of “meat” now. I just want to hear it from the other side.
My prep class was similar, but little more open to interventions and options. However, when she found out I still don’t have a breastpump, her eyebrows raised! I mean, I’m gonna be at home full time mommy and don’t plan on leaving the baby so WTF I need to have a breastpump already? I’ll see how that goes. Those tree huggers can do my head in sometimes, I’m all green in many ways, but come on..give us a break, right?
Shame on them! I don’t have one either yet! And I know we’ve done quite well getting alot organised…
Another piece of (unsolicited) advice – since you will probably be in the hospital a couple days, you can use one blanket on the baby all day and have someone bring it to the dogs to smell or sleep with at night. The diaper is a great idea, but I wasn’t sure how much time you would want to spend with it and the dogs so used blanket or onesie is also another option to use with the diaper.
that’s actually a good idea, thanks!
I am with you….doctors got the baby in there…so doctors can get her out. Although I am hoping for a vaginal birth….with an epidural! And I think the more monitoring the better….better safe than sorry. I am definetly going to try and remember to bring one of her blankets home for my little dog….anything to ease the transition!
Hope your birth goes well, and glad to see you also see the positive of the hospital! I think we are both going to have some interesting times with our dogs, so all advice is welcome 🙂
It’s the same in the US – this huge divide between the “medical” and the non/anti-medical approaches to childbirth. My sister is definitely on the anti side – homebirth in a tub, never saw a doctor at all for prenatal care, only midwives – so much so that she wanted me to leave the hospital against medical advice rather than undergo a cesarean (due to my pre-eclampsia). I’m testament that you can have a very positive, connected birth experience even if it is a scheduled c-section. Anyway, your birth is your birth, and it’s good to be prepared for all eventualities.
Holy Moly! That is just awful that your sister wanted to take you out of that situation! I think some people get so convinced of their own viewpoint they can’t see straight. I’m glad you made it through and it is very encouraging to me that you still had a good experience, thanks for commenting.
You know- I love your point of view on this. There is a couple that C and I know through his residency (the husband is a fellow intern), and he and his wife are SUPER pro-natural EVERYTHING, and shockingly, even though the husb is a doctor in a hospital, anti-hospital birth. Sometimes it can be frustrating to be around the wife, especially the past 9 months as she was pregnant until three weeks ago (she had a home water birth… and filmed it… and put it on youtube), because she’s constantly harping on how much better it is to do it outside the hospital and zomg! Doctors are so evil and sneak all these interventions in and get you! Rah! It’s mind boggling to me considering her husband is one of those doctors delivering babies on the regular, but uh, okay. Whatever. Today I was trying to explain how good I thought the childbirth classes my husband and I went to (at the hospital that he works at) were, and how EVEN AT THE HOSPITAL, in the HOSPITAL class, they stressed that the mom/dad always had a say about what was going on and could refuse interventions unless the situation was uber life threatening, but that the mom needed to ensure that her coach was well-informed about what she wants/needs so he can advocate for her. I thought she’d be pleased with this idea, but instead she said, “Well. Some doctors wait until husband has left the room to use the restroom and then sneak in and pressure the mom into all kinds of interventions.”
*Sigh* I know that’s probably true in some circumstances, but honestly? Not all of them. No one should be made to feel bad for wanting, much less NEEDING, to give birth in the safety of a hospital with dozens of trained, skilled professionals ready and waiting should anything go wrong. I hope the class continues to go well, and I hope no one gives you a difficult time about having a c-section. My husband and his brother were both c-section babies and their mom ADORES them, as they do her. How you give birth does not dictate the mother/child bond!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It’s really good to hear.
I think people need to justify their decisions by running other people’s down..
You know what’s right for YOU. That’s all that’s important. I went back and forth about these issues a lot before deciding to switch from my original OB/GYN to the OB/midwives practice. You sound like you know in your gut what is important for your situation, so stick with it – there is nothing wrong with gathering all the information, taking as many classes as you think will be helpful. People become advocates for what they believe is “best,” but obviously it won’t be what’s best in every situation, and there should not have to be guilt for realizing, hey, that’s not my situation!
thanks Amy, that’s such a balanced view 🙂
It amazes me out ‘anti’ people are about c-sec etc……..I love the way they talk about privacy etc….ummm hello go through ART and see how private that is! I mean we lost all ‘dignity’ long time ago and quite frankly I feel a c-sec is way more ‘private’ than a natural birth… I’ve watched natural birth and there is NOTHING private about it! haha
As far as I’m concerned I’m on your page….. it doesn’t matter how the baby/s come out so long as they are healthy and SAFE….We have gone through SO MUCH to bring them into the world, the birth is the last place one will be prepared to take risks…
Hell we’d all love to have natural (well some of us anyway) but if it’s not possible there is NO GUILT in that!
Love your comment, you really made me laugh!