One my biggest problems at the moment is lack of sleep. Nicky is regressing to waking up EVERY TWO HOURS FOR BOOB! I am exhausted.
So let’s look at some ways this book suggests to cure night time nursing.
1) Pantley’s Gentle Removal Plan: At the end of nursing during the day say: “All done, Milk is all done. Bye bye milk.” Then during the night, get him off the boob when he is relaxed. When he falls asleep without the boob, say the same phrase.
To be honest I have already been doing this for ages. Not all the time, but every now and then. He kind of settles after I have pulled the boob. But he still seems to need that initial boob. I wouldn’t talk though, I don’t want to wake him.
2) Create a New Bedtime Routine: where they fall asleep without the boob. They suggest cuddling, music, audio book.
I do have a sleep app noises I can try, I guess. (I tried it last night but he was too distracted by the IPad. He has lots of game on there he likes, especially he likes watching videos of himself) My problem with routine for bed time is that I have to pick DH up at irregular hours. There’s not much I can do about that but I have been trying: supper at 5, bath thereafter, pick up DH around 6/7. bed 8/9.
3) The Storytelling Ritual: While sucking on a sippy cup or pacifier tell a story where they are the main character.
I did try this last night without success. But I think it’s a good idea I should keep trying.
3) Set Time Perimeters: E.g from 12:00 till 6 am “the milk is asleep”. Explain mom gets grumpy without sleep. Hold, pat & comfort but insist the milk is asleep.
I like this one. But I know he’s going to cry.
4) Use Light and Dark as Nursing Cues: “We nurse when It’s light. We sleep when it’s dark.”
This is similar to 3 but the thing is we don’t really nurse much in the day anymore.
5) A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place: Don’t nurse in the bedroom. Massage, sing, story, relaxation exercise. Go to sofa for nursing if he really needs it.
Sheesh. Up and down. But maybe that might work.
6) Adding some motivation: 20 -30 prizes if he waits till morning to nurse.
Not sure he’ll get this.
7) Enlist the Help of Another Adult. Dad puts child to sleep.
We have tried this, it doesn’t work. But maybe we should persist.
I like this quote though: “Crying and fussing in the arms of a loving parent are not the same as crying it out.”
They say 10-14 days will show success. Also allow touch.
What has worked for me so far:
At the moment the real thing that I am not willing to do is ongoing nursing in the middle of the night. In other words, hanging on my boob for hours on end. So this is how things have gone. I have been using a sippy cup of tea at night with some holding as well.
-Friday night: The previous day was normal but he woke up early and wanted to hang on me in the early hours of the morning. So I just said no and redirected him to the sippy cup. Of course he cried but in the end he did drink a bit and eventually fell asleep.
–Monday night. Monday was a difficult sleep day because we had a doctor’s appointment in the morning (my DH’s annual neurologist check up in Sunninghill) so of course he fell asleep on the way back and refused to nap when we got home. That night he went to bed very early (7pm) in his own room and then apart from a few wakings here and there he was fine. Until 4am he was WIDE AWAKE and wanting to play. Of course I was not. I was VERY TIRED. So I took him off to the other room and held him and gave him the sippy cup. Eventually he went to sleep. I have to say that on Tuesday I was extremely exhausted and for the first time napped when Nicky napped.
Last night was fine because he went to bed with us (although I really tried to get him to sleep earlier) and only woke at 4am and went straight back to sleep.
I can handle that, it’s the late night wakings and NOT wanting to go back to sleep that is bad.
So let’s hope we are done with the bad nights for now.
Oh I feel your sleep deprivation. I did read that Pantley book and to be honest nothing in there really worked fully for me.
We did have crying, but I felt my son was old enough to understand I still loved him. It was OK to cry because he was upset, I knew he was not scared or feeling left alone. I made my decision to stop breastfeeding for me and as bad as it felt I eventually had to do it for me, even if my son cried. We still rarely have a sleep through the night, but we have adapted to it. We still co-sleep because we get more sleep. I say do what works for you even if the books say it is wrong.
Thanks for the encouraging words.
Some great tips, thanks for sharing.
I have been through this too and it is hard. What worked best for us was that DH did all the nighttime waking during a certain window (12am-6am) so I could sleep. And eventually without getting to nurse he stopped waking up. Yes, there were tears, but as you quoted crying is okay when he is being rocked and cuddled by daddy. Hang in there and this will soon be a distant memory. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement. I think that 12-6 window is what we will be working on too.