I think I’ve been a bit behind posting about things, particularly about my very awesome kid. I am super proud of him and would like to tell you all about his honouring ceremony which actually happened back in November. Also a bit of news about our holiday.
They have a very special event at his school called “Honouring” where each child receives a certificate and the teacher says a few affirming words about them. Our very special teacher Hilary said some very nice things about Nicky, about how he notices the other kids and if they need help.
After that they had a concert. Nicky was a seventies dancer and we watched them all put on a show. He was very cute.
It’s been a tough year for this little guy but he’s come out the other end.
After a lot of consideration I’ve decided to keep him back and repeat Grade R. This was the recommendation of his teacher. I could probably write a whole post on this issue but I don’t have the strength. Suffice to say that I have been a Grade One teacher before and I know from personal experience the difference this kind of thing makes. Nicky is not just physically smaller than the other kids, he also has some catching up to do emotionally and with his work pace plus a few OT issues too which we continue to work on.
One thing he is really good at though, is numbers. He has been playing Monopoly with my mom for the past few months and he is able to give the correct change, move around the board without counting and he is good at winning too. I’ve learnt a lot from him the way he buys the most expensive properties and doesn’t spend on anything else. I think he’s going to turn out to be a shrewd investor. Over the holidays his aunt gave him cards and I taught him Rummy. He started beating me as well.
Here’s a video from Brett’s phone of him doing some addition:
And here he is counting to 100:
We’ve just come back from a lovely holiday in the Eastern Cape where we saw all the family on both sides. I’m so glad I went and above all I realise how important it is for Nicky to spend time with his cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.
It’s been a time of rest and restoration for me. I spent most of the first week sick, cloudy and sleepy (and under the care of my mom) before finally dumping those “happy pills” once and for all (after the third change). And a day later my brain cleared and I felt miles better. My blood pressure is down too.
Too bad I was still medicated when I went to this beautiful service honouring those who we have lost during the year at Brett’s sister’s church. The horrible thing about the pills is that they cut you off from your emotions. So I lit a candle and felt nothing.
By Christmas I was more myself and shed a few tears during the service. Amazing what set me off: I notice how his sister carefully lifted Nicky into a high chair so he could get a good view and was so touched about how she is caring for Nicky. And I wished Brett could be there to see it. Her kids are just awesome with him and I appreciate it so much. I just could not take any more “Joy to the world”.
One of my mom’s friends gave me another candle with some special objects so I had another attempt to honour Brett in that way. He brought so many good things into my life and not only Nicky, but also another family that is supporting me and helping me with Nicky.
A special moment I will treasure is watching Nicky play with his cousin and uncle in the pool on New Year’s day. He also had fun with trains, trampolines and water guns.
And of course lots of food. Brett would have loved the family get togethers and he would have loved the food. Lying in the bed we shared just two years ago in East London was hard. Very surreal to be there without Brett.
But just being there I know is helping us all on some level. For me it was important also just to visit his frail mother who has probably been the worst hit in this whole messed up situation.
I have no new year’s resolutions. I am just taking it all one day at a time. But I know that 2019 just has to be better than last year.
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