I’m writing this to encourage those who, like me, are struggling with the weaning process. Sometimes we can go six hours without boob and I think we are making progress, and at other times I find myself cluster feeding all over again to calm him down.
Why is this so hard for me? Am I just no good at saying no? Am I struggling to let go myself? Is he not ready?
It seems like no matter how many weaning books I read and all the plans I make, this whole process is a lot tougher than I imagined. You’d think my toddler, who is about to turn two next week, would have weaned long ago…
At the moment my goal is just to get rid of the day feeds (excluding nap and sleep times – I have no idea how I will get rid of those…)
Today when Nicky woke up he was crying for boob but we were in a rush to go so there was no time. When we got home again I gave him a nice long nurse.
We have breakfast (oats and banana) but he only eats some oats.
After some whimpering I nurse him again, hoping that would be it and I could get on in the kitchen.No such luck. He lies on the floor and cries.
Because I had a similar experience yesterday I suggest putting him in the backpack to calm him down so I can get the cooking done but he makes it very clear he doesn’t want that and points to his bed for a feed. So we feed.
I let him nurse as long as he wants but when I get up it is tears again.
Eventually I have a brain wave and offer him a rice cake covered with yoghurt that I know he likes and that gives me a few minutes. We eat up all the rice cakes and start on the cookies.
He is standing by the cookie cupboard where the cookies and rice cakes are. But by now I am feeling bad for giving him sweet stuff and am cutting up an apple.
More tears. Very clear that he DOESN’T WANT the apple. He wants the COOKIE.
In the end I relent and give him the cookie.
But I continue to assemble three choices of fruit (left over bananas from breakfast, grapes and the apple I have cut up).
Nicky in the end does have some of the grapes.
But while I am trying to get the food done and he just wants attention he decides the only way to get it is to throw the apple on the floor.
I ask him why he did it (he tells me in his own language) and I tell him we can’t do that and together we pick it up and throw it away.
A few minutes later he has done the same to the grapes.
By now I am really losing it but my food is practically done so we can go for nap time and his precious boob.
As you can see, I really tried to re-direct him towards the food with various results. I guess he just wanted attention and if I have to buy a few minutes with cookies, I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles for now… lol…
It seems he is in for the long haul!
(At 5 and half years we are still going, but very sporadically, and some days she completely skips.)
Personally, I think at this age, they try to control what they want. So if the only thing they can control is the nursing schedule they will. If you want to nurse him, then that is great! But do it when you decide you should do it; not when he demands it. Because they are so smart and will turn their demanding to other things later in life. So you have to be firm and stick to it. If he has been fed and doesn’t need to be nursed and you need to get stuff done, then don’t give in! It will be tough for a couple of days, but they have to learn who is “boss.” With my kids, it wasn’t nursing, but they still wanted to rule the roost in other areas and they had to learn they couldn’t do it. And we are still working with our 3 1/2 year old! She was screaming today, and I had to put her in the bedroom and tell her she could not yell at mommy like that. Then after we deal with her, we love on her.
Just keep doing your best! You’re doing fine!